A better you - what Ramadan is all about

Have you ever skipped lunch, or not eaten for an entire day? What about a week, or a whole month? Until now, I don't think I have ever spent more than 5 waking hours without food. That was all about to change when I moved to Malaysia during the most important month of the year - Ramadan.

Living in a Muslim country has really opened my eyes to what Ramadan is all about. This important ritual is so much more than fasting for a month. I would always imagine that Ramadan was something Muslims all over the world were dreading for a whole year, and when the month arrived they would suffer through counting every minute to sunset. When I arrived in Kuala Lumpur, I felt sorry for all of the people fasting in the unbearable heat. Especially because food it such an important aspect of this culture. What I have really enjoyed the most about my short time here is walking around the city experiencing the incredible mixture of tastes and smells of the local food.

Even though Ramadan isn't officially affecting the efficiency and working life in Malaysia, you can notice that most people doesn't have as much energy as they usually do. Walking around in the city you see a lot of people taking naps. In parks, bus stops, parked taxies, at the office floor or hanging over the cash register in the stores. It has happened more than once that I have avoided stores feeling guilty for waking them up. Maybe not the best business-strategy, but completely necessary to survive another day without food and water in the steaming hot Malaysian capital.

Malaysia is a country with a great cultural diversity - Malays (Muslims), Indians, Chinese and a whole lot of expats from all over the world are living together in (from what I have experienced so far) a perfect harmony. There is an understanding and respect for Ramadan and the inconveniences it brings having half of the population fasting that have really touched me. During Ramadan, the ones who would usually have lunch at their desk go other places not to eat in front of their Muslim co-workers and on the subway many will give Muslims their seat.

On my first trip to the coast, I ended up waiting an hour and a half for a bus that was supposed to leave every 15 minutes. When I finally asked a man passing by if I was at the right stop, or if something was wrong with the bus, he looked at me like I was asking for a private jet. “It is 8PM” he said while showing me his watch. "Ramadan. Eat”. My timing was perfect as always; I had arrived just before the evening prayer and break fast meal and every bus-driver was with their families. During these 30 days, people are expecting the working pace to slow down and Ramadan is usually the excuse for why offices are closed, someone is not answering their phone, or something is not happening on time. And that is just the way it is.

When I was invited to a break-fast meal and prayers with my friend's family, I was quite nervous to be honest. I was scared that I would dress inappropriate, say something wrong, eat the wrong way. 
In general I was just scared I might be disrespectful without knowing it. I didn't know a lot about Islam or the Ramadan-traditions, but that day everything was about to change. 

I learned how Ramadan is something Muslims really looks forward to and even children that doesn't have to fast try to follow the grownups to be a part of the Ramadan rituals. These thirty days are about unity, empathy, respect, family, charity, friendship, selflessness, spiritual growth and last but not least coming together praying and sharing amazing food. 

Going home from the break fast-dinner, I was really curious about how it felt to fast. And if I could manage a whole day without food. As my friend Hezreen explained; i'is an exercise for self-control. Something I really could need some more of. What harm could it do to try for just a day? And if the Muslims become more disciplined and better humans for eleven whole months, the best case scenario was that I would become a better me for eleven days. I was even given a Islamic hand book with prayers for motivation. What did I possibly have to loose? I mean, if even the Muslim children could do it for 30 days it would be very sad if i couldn't even manage one single day.

My one day of Ramadan
When the alarm woke me up at 05:20 I wasn't too happy to get up just to have breakfast. Because I am not the best planner in the world, I had bought my pre-fasting meal at 7-eleven the night before. Realizing that an egg and a sandwich with a smoothie wasn't going to make it, I went for the fridge emptying it in the search of anything eatable. Adding a banana, granola, crackers, avocado-dip and some very questionable Indian sauce that had been in the back of the fridge since I moved in, I was good to go, but with much less time than I had planned. 

My instructions were clear - you eat until about 05:40 and after that - nothing is going into your mouth until sunset, which is 19:35 in Kuala Lumpur. At 05:39 I was freaking out putting the banana on top of the egg-sandwich with a handful of granola in the other hand ready the moment I had swallowed. My phone now showed 05:40. I ran to the window and opened it - still dark. My friend's voice was in my head; you eat until around 05:40. Around... More or less.. Well the sun is definitely still not up - I decided to finish my meal and topped it all off with 1,5 liters of water at 05:48.

While sitting on the couch feeling the kind of uncomfortably full that most people only experience after Christmas dinner, I was really anxious, wondering if I had already cheated Ramadan. Exactly in that moment, I heard a beautiful sound outside of my window ensuring me that I just made it. The Adhan - call for prayers from the local mosque.

To be honest, my day of fasting is just a blurry memory to me now. I guess it’s the body's way of blocking a traumatic experience. Lets just say the 14 longest hours of my life involved a lot of meal planning, feeling sorry for myself, making shopping lists, counting minutes, googling recipes and napping. Although I am sure I ate enough calories for a whole day before sunrise, I was already panicking at 07:30 thinking about my usual 09:00 cookie and the lunch I wasn't going to have. 
“Look at it as a form of exercise for self-control” my friend Hezreen had told me. Well, I think everyone that have known me for more than a week knows that my self-control when it comes to food is non existing. 

At 12:00 I realized that Ramadan had created a monster. I always found our office to be way too quiet but now I got annoyed at every little sound or movement around me. I remember thinking that it was very inappropriate that people were laughing or smiling and everyone was wearing clothes with too bright colors and breathing too loud. When my friend asked me out for lunch, something inside me wanted to scream at him, but I managed to put on a smile and say “no, thank you. I am fasting. It’s Ramadan, you know”. Then I went home and fell asleep. It was 2 PM and I saw no other way out then to sleep until I could have that Indian breakfast meal I had been planning so carefully all day.

If 30 days of fasting makes you a better and more disciplined person for eleven whole months, I have exactly 6 days left as the new and improved me. So lets make the best of it!